fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
