Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize