your room smells of hookers.
And success
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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