she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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