Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
did i just pee glitter
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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