His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
