you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
