She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
