We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Farmville is her only friend.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
