he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
