Redeem this text for a blowjob
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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