we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
