I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
