i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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