is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
it glows. i had to have it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
