I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
