He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
