sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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