are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
