stop calling my apartment porn island.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
