I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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