Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
