Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
