my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
