I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
