Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
