You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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