O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
