Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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