I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
