No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
