Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
third nipple confirmed
BRING THE BAGELS
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
