the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
