Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
