Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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