I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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