buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
