That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
