hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize