Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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