I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize