What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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