And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
