She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
