I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
