hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
