moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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