i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
