I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
