I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
