why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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