it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
