I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
