Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
