Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
