it was like eating out sand paper
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
