HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
