you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
